I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Why is it people are always in costumes on Cheaters these days? Joe Greco literally just said, "It appears they get chased by a chicken with a chainsaw." WTF?
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
Note to self: don't tell your girlfriends dad you can have his daughter in bed by ten and home by midnight. He doesnt find it funny
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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