I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
How many strippers in the world do you think have had a debate with someone about the NRA?
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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