I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
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you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
Im in your car brotha dog. Its was unlocked, so im gonna sleep in it. well i mean i think its your car be your car.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
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Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
I slept with someone only because he got my Simon Birch impression. It was a new low.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
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