Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
