You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
This is a life or shit situation. Grab me toilet paper asap. This bathroom is fucking out. This is not a test. This an actual emergency and I am not joking.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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