Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
I wish you could order shots online.
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
