yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.