She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Our funnel is on top of our neighbors roof.
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
These People Are The Epitome of Lazy
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Speaking of mom and dad and Halloween... Mom bought a size small slutty nurse outfit last night. So yeah, they're getting hammered
Disturbing Scenes People Witnessed As Children
And now to play every stoner's favorite game: Where the Fuck Did We Park the Car?! Disneyland Edition!
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her