Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
