When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
We can use the Mac n cheese as the potatoes in our breakfast burritos. Problem solved.
Randomize
