Well douche your snatch and let's go!
We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
These tits shall not be calmed
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
While finding our clothes afterwards he says..."So do we like have to talk after this?"
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