I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
I have 2 bottles of wine, a sharpie, and a panda mask and don't have to wake up early. Can u do the math on this?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
