I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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