I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
the way she shouted out instructions during sex made me feel like I was having sex with my gym teacher
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
When are you not under some influence?
Since last Tuesday...yesterday.
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Turns out the creepy dude who bought us tequila shots was the friend of a friend who then got us a table and several large bottles of champagne.
Never judge a man by his mustache.
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