I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
CUM CAME OUT OF MY NOSE. MY SINUSES ARE ENTIRELY FUCKED UP NOW BC OF THE CUM TRAVELING IN PLACES IT SHOULD NOT HAVE.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
