one two three fourrrrnication!
Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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