Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
