i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
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