How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
I was gonna jerk off, but then I thought about that movie last night and it killed that idea. I have serious boner trauma.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
