the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
Randomize
