i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
Just found out that my name comes from part of my mom's old stripper name.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
Randomize