Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's Valentine's Day, I figure for sure we'll have sex today, right? Wrong. I tried unsuccessfully for like an hour to get him to fuck me. Now he's asleep and I'm on my way to join the public library.
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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