I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
At what point did I eat out of your mouth?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Randomize
