i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
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