covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
He just walked up to me in the kitchen, pulled out his penis and stuck it in my sweatpants pocket.
It was probably cold. Sweatpants pockets are notoriously warm.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
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