and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Sorry about giving you those ripped gym shorts after my dog ate your pants, but after the awkard BJ incident I didn't plan on hearing from you again
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize
