he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was so high, he talked to my goldfish for an hour telling him the dangers of overfeeding.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize