this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I brought red and green boonsfarm to the white elephant party. classy and festive. I think this is what people are referring to when they talk about killing two birds with one stone.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Remember that time you gave me a fat lip with your vag? We should do that again!
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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