I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
Randomize
