i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
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