I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Just saw a hooker eating a pastrami sandwich walking down beach blvd blowing kisses to traffic. My day = made
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Please send me a thumbs up pic afterwards. No homo. After you've redressed and are heading for the walk of shame out of course
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
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