i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
Next time you're baked eat baked beans and potato chips together. Like dip them in the beans. It's so good
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
