none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i would punch a child for taco bell
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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