Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
no. you can't hotbox the world.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
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