If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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