I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
I woke up with her dog licking the wedding cake out of my ear and her sister finishing our Jaeger
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
No, it wasn't really a sexy 'I'm going to go masturbate.' It was an 'I'm going to go masturbate' that implied I was going to drink a tall boy of Mikes and cry while I looked at lesbian porn.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
Randomize
