In the future we'll all be gay
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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