Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
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