Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
Randomize
