Its a bunch of hippies dancing in front of a stobe light. For ten dollars I could have gone to the strip club and at least had a lap dance
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
I'll even be awesome and bring pizza for your family, just as a "hey thanks for letting a stranger get trashed at your house" gesture.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
