so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I still dont see how i drunkenly impressed your mom
Randomize
