so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
It is 5:00PM and I'm just now putting on underwear.
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
Randomize
