How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
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Is there any chance I can see you without pouring vodka on your head?
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
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He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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