We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
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so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
If you are breathing, I want you at your house. No non-breathing-related excuses.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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