please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
So just to get a feel for things...how prone are you to male Amish strippers...
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
And the horses in Central Park have blankets. And Rafiki just told me "it is time" in the back of our cab.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
How bad is it that I can say that this isn't the first time a married man, who is in the military, has tried to make me his mistress?
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
