I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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