Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
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