The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I'd marry him just to keep his penis in the country
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Randomize
