sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
how was your night?
well, i just purchased 'sorry for being a drunk whore' cupcakes. how do you think my night was?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
All I learned from that experience was that drinking scotch out of a crunk goblet was bad news.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
I've never used poorer judgment in my life. It's mathematically possible that I impregnated 5 women in the past 24 hours since I won the lottery. But I couldn't be happier about it.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
