it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
Randomize
