lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
In the ER. 2nd degree burns. Drunken attempt to make gasoline scented candles.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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