why do i have 22 missed calls from someone who is literally saved in my phone as bumrape star??
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
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