I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bondingš
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
I couldnāt resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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