Christians are straight up FREAKS
the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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