We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I am the girl who goes to bed with her make-up on so that she doesn't have to fully redo it in the morning. I am obviously not ready to be a mother.
How does that even work?
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
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