i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
I just dropped a paperclip into my cleavage while talking to the company president... That's an awkward moment.
Did you at least offer to let him get it out??
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
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