I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You told her dad that you were gonna "superman that ho" I love the first impressions you make
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I'm saying "I told you so" now so that I don't slow down to say it on the way to grab the fire extinguisher
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Randomize
