we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
It's when I'm in my pajamas and in need of a gin delivery that I miss NYC most of all.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
