update: the house isnt on fire anymore, but he is still pissing on all your stuff.
the house was on fire??
shit I thought I told you.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
We where late for the party because we spent the last hour staring at a towl becase we thought it was a raccoon
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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