you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Jon just got arrested by the quesadilla police
What?!?
What I actually meant, is I had a quesadilla, and Jon got arrested by the real police
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
