Midget sex pt 2 tonight
farters have to be the big spoon...
What part of "waking up in the crawl space of my house with a raccoon" sounds like a good night to you?
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
